“I love you.” What a punch these three simple words can bring – if it’s delivered the right way.
The thing is, some people just can’t say it comfortably without the words tripping out of their mouths. You’d think they’ll morph and turn into ogres, the way they squirm and go around beating around the bush before finally saying the words.
Then there are also those who openly say the words but don’t really mean it. Nevertheless, it doesn’t matter if they do or don’t say the words. What matters is that a relationship remains honest and happy.
What are the things that make a relationship work anyway? The same factors work for all kinds of relationship. Whether it’s a relationship between lovers, among family members, friends, office workers, and business partners, the same foundations apply for it to work.
If a pillar is missing, the whole thing crumbles. Three pillars make up the foundation. We call the three pillars The Relationship Tripod.
First, it must be understood that a relationship requires at least two people for it to exist, let alone work. You must be visible to the other person.
If the relationship is long distance, you must at least feel that the other one is there. It won’t do any good to take the other’s existence for granted and count on the other to check up on you. You must also show compassion.
If you keep up the show of indifference, it just spells failure. The other person needs to sense your feelings for them. Show them kindness, gentleness, sensitivity – anything that shows you care for them. It’s not that hard to say “I’m always here for you,” is it? Whoever receives this show of affection must give something back. Everyone must do his or her part in a relationship because it’s a give and take condition.
As mentioned earlier, a relationship is a give-and-take situation. Not all people are made alike; even if two people are so uncannily similar, there might still exist small differences that could spark an argument.
This is why an agreement has to be reached on every argument, whether petty or vital. All kinds are important, especially when it comes to a relationship. Someone has to win and someone has to give in. This is why the discussion of differences is so essential.
Discuss the disparity: What is the problem? Why is it a problem? Who should compromise and adjust to the problem? All these should be resolved. Conceding sometimes doesn’t make you a loser; rather, it goes to show how important a relationship is to you. “I guess you’re right.” These words could be the balm of your disputes.
There would be no discussion of differences, no showing of affection, and no saying of words without communication. This third and last leg is probably the most vital in a relationship. It enables us to know what the other party feels and what is needed to make the partnership work.
It gives us the ability to say the words that are wanted and needed. In short, the other two legs won’t happen if the last one isn’t present. Just a small act of communication could go a long way in improving a relationship.
You can do simple things like writing a small note on a piece of paper, or be writing short emails at least occasionally. Do something to give truth to your existence and your relationship. Don’t take this for granted, because a lot of relationships crumble due to lack of any contact.
Take the long distance relationship, for instance. A lot fail, but some succeed because they make contact with each other almost every day. Even business associates keep in contact by sending each other progress reports.
Any form of relationship is a box of chocolates, as Forrest Gump puts it. Some taste good and some don’t. Overall, the experience of having a box of chocolates gives you a good feeling because eating each and every piece of chocolate gives an experience – an experience of bitterness, sweetness, or even bitter-sweetness. You don’t get every flavor that you desire in a box.
So if you are looking for a relationship that is easy on the heart and mind, get ready for the harsh reality. It entails the effort of everyone involved for it to work well.